Diane Neal Interview

Aww man! The weekend when the sound on my computer stops working there's an SVU interview that I can't listen to! Gosh darn it!

Do you happen to know where I can find a transcript for it?

*I’m gunna skip all the nonsense junk at the beginning and give you the short version. The DJ’s (Tommy and Rumble, who for the sake of this interview are going to be called DJ (both of them), cuz I cant tell them apart, are basically waiting for the Supernanny lady to call, whoever she is. And they have this whole bit planned out, about how when she calls, they are going to pretend that they are having this fight over the phone, to kinda make fun of her. So, they’re expecting the Nanny, and they get Diane Neal. Funniness ensues.*

Secretary person: Ok, you’re going to be online with Tommy and Rumble.

DJ 1: No you’re not!

DJ 2: Hello?

Diane: Hellooo?

DJ 1: Mom said let me use the phone!

DJ 2: I’m using the phone!

*Diane says something unidentifiable in backround*

DJ 1: Dad said I get to use the phone!

DJ 2: Well you’re a crap ball peanut head!

DJ 1: I’m gunna tell Mom you said that!

*Diane laughs in backround*

DJ: Is this Nanny Deb?

Diane: No?!

DJ: Could you solve our dispute?

Diane: Whaaaat? *think of a bird squacking that, that’s the kinda voice she used*

DJ: Mom likes him better and he uses bad words.

Diane: Well my mom likes my sister better, whatta you gunna do?

DJ: I don’t know, its tough isn’t it?

Diane: Yeah, it is, it’s a hard life!

DJ: It’s a hard life!

DJ 2: Do you think that relates to problems with children? Do you think parents are the primary cause of childhood behavior problems?

*They still think they be talking to the nanny!*

Diane: Uhhhh… of course.

DJ: Yeah.

DJ 2: Really.

Diane: Kinda, oh no, actually, I don’t know, maybe your kid is just crazy.

DJ: Maybe the kid is just crazy. Is this Nanny Deb?

*Gee, what was your first clue?!*

Diane: No! This is Diane Neal from Law and Order.

*One DJ starts laughing hysterically in the backround.*

DJ: You have got to be kidding me!

Diane: Aw, but its cool, you want me to pretend I’m Nanny Deb?

DJ: Oh my god we’re oh for two on this!

Diane: That’s alright.

DJ: This nanny chick is supposed to call us at like ten minutes after ten. What are the chances that our interview guy has the interview times backwards?

*Diane laughs a long, cackling laugh*

DJ: Oh that is so funny.

Diane: Actually, but then, yeah.

DJ: This is the second time we’ve pulled this two kids arguing thing, the first time it was one of our co-worker’s husbands.

Diane: Oh yeah!

DJ: Now its you, from Law and Order…we are so screwed up. We’re idiots.

Diane: It’s a good morning guys!

DJ: You just gotta be wondering what we’re yelling about, we think we’re talking to the nanny and it’s the girl from Law and Order, its Diane Neal, Casey Novak, from ABC’s (sic) Law and Order, with Tommy and Rumble.

DJ: You can just send Ice-T over to kick our asses.

Diane: No that’s ok… yeah, yeah. It’s ok, that’s hysterical, its like childhood development questions, and I’m like, I don’t really know!

DJ: Yeah I don’t know, it’s a crime thing I play on.

DJ: What did you think was going on here?

Diane: I…you know, its best not to ask questions.

*DJ starts laughing hysterically*

DJ: You know, you are so gracious, you are so sweet, you just go with it. It’s just like, why fight these guys, I’m only on air five minutes, its good for the show, lets just do it.

*Diane laughs the cackling laugh*

Diane: Its fun, you get to talk to people all over the place. Actually, I have to say hi to my cousin and her husband in *town*.

DJ: OHH that it…what are their names?

*Then the DJ keeps babbling so that I can’t hear the names.*

DJ: I’m sorry, I think I stepped on you there, what are their names?

Diane: Meg and Tony.

DJ: Meg and Tony.

DJ 2: Meg and Tony.

DJ 1: You’re from where, Alexandria?

Diane: Yeah, originally, yeah, so they’re all from Hampton and they live in Norfolk(?) now.

DJ: Oh terrific. That’s great, so do you visit this area?

Diane: Yeah I do actually, but you know, I haven’t been down there in two years, so…

DJ: Yeah.

Diane: I’m due for another trip.

DJ: Are you in New York right now?

Diane: I ammmm.

DJ: Well then you need to come down here to Hampton to break up our little child like spats.

*Diane starts making fun of them by making little whiney sounds*

DJ: Cuz we’re idiots.

DJ 2: Give us both time outs.

Diane: I’ll just come with my sister, and we can fight.

*DJ laughs*

DJ: Do you get to have the family fights? We were just talking about that today, about uh…

*To be continued in Part Two shortly*

Just a darn minute here...

FM 99 and Tommy & Rumble.... that's here in Virginia! It's one of our radio stations.

There was someone in the Caseynovak Yahoo! group that actually recapped it already, so I'm going to cheat and try to find the part two that they did

*Pumps fist* Found it! ;D

(PODCAST 2, this one runs 7 minutes and42 seconds)

T&R: Th...thuh...the large family on a holiday when it all goes
bad.

Ms. Neal: It all goes to crap. It's really funny.

T&R: No...NO! Mom gave that to ME dammit!

Ms. Neal:Well...actually, my older sister, she's 31, and she just sold her house...

T&R: Yeah...

Ms. Neal: And she had to move into my PARENTS house for TWO WEEKS before she gets her new house.

T&R: Yeah

Ms. Neal: And it's been...I've been on the phone with her...and it's like (Ms. Neal does one of her voices) "Hey!I'm gonna kill them in their sleep!" and, you know.

(T&R laugh)

Ms. Neal: And it never goes away...I'm like...we're 28 and 31...you'd think would be over by now.

T&R: Nooooooooooo!!!! In fact, it only gets better. My wife goes home every summer, because she feels obligated to spend some time with her mom. And by the end of the week, she's wanting the Coast Guard to drop that orange ring (Ms. Neal laughs) and just PLUCK
HER FROM THE ROOF!!!

T&R: So, Diane, let's talk about this for a second...you have the siblings going on? Mom, Dad and all that?

Ms. Neal: Yeah, I got the works.

T&R: Do you feel as if...ahh..maybe your sister thinks you get special favouritism because you're the TV Star?

Ms. Neal: I don't think so. I think maybe my parents do the opposite...so, like, they make sure I don't get ANY special treatment...because I'm on TV...

T&R: Uh...OK...

Ms. Neal: Because, I was home for, like, a month this summer...and the whole time it's like (Ms. Neal does one of her voices) "Aaaaa...DO the dishes!" I'm like (Ms. Neal does one of her delightful voices again) "Eeeyoooowww!!!" I feel like I'm in Napoleon Dynamite..."

(T&R laugh and do a scene from Napoleon Dynamite)

Ms. Neal: I LOVE my family...but it is...it's just hysterical...Nothing CHANGES!!!

T&R: And, you know what...the worst thing is...especially you, because you're famous and you're on TV and you go back and then, they want you to tell them about being on TV, but when you do, they're like totally unimpressed!

Ms. Neal: Yeah...they're like "Yeah, whatever!"

T&R: Yeah, exactly!

Ms. Neal: Yeah "Stop complaining about the job, Diane!Yeah, whatever!" I'm like (she does another one of her lovely voices, this one reminded me of Ralph Kramden in the "Honeymooners") "No, but it's getting...hyuh-hyuh!"

T&R: The rest of us are hot, mopping tar roofs in August

(Ms. Neal laughs)

Ms. Neal: But you know, ditch digging's quite fun!

T&R: So, Diane, do you have any family members that walk around, and at least three or four times a day they mention...Law&Order, and Casey Novak and all that?

Ms. Neal: No, actually they're...no, actually, no one does

T&R: Really?

Ms. Neal: Yeah...and then, I don't have any family here in New York...so, I'm kind of, you know, outside of the realm of them mentioning it to me all of the time.

T&R: You know, we could make some calls after the show...

Ms. Neal: Yeah?

T&R: Yeah "We know Diane Neal from Law&Order SVU"...Yeah...so then...you're pretty much well-situated, then...ah...your head's on straight is what I'm trying to say...

(Ms. Neal laughs)

Ms. Neal: (In a soft, conspiratorial voice): It's BEATEN on
straight! But...it's GOOD! Life's GOOD...You know, you're
always... everything's a lot easier here in New York, because you're so out of the loop anyway...

T&R: Yeah!

Ms. Neal: From all the Hollywood...you know...B.S.

T&R: And you're busy...

Ms. Neal: Yeah! So, you're just working. It's just a really cool JOB!

T&R: See, now...my Dad never misses a chance to drop the radio guy thing.

Ms. Neal: Really?

T&R: Ohhh...NEVER misses a chance...

Ms. Neal: Does he, like, pull up his pants when he says it? Like (Ms. Neal does one of her voices, imitating this burly male) "MAHSONNN!!!"

(laughter)

T&R: "Cause he doesn't live here...so, he'll come in town on a visit and stay at a hotel...and he'll ask everyone...

Ms. Neal: (in feigned shock) You don't let your DAD stay at your HOUSE? (laughs)

T&R: You know...he prefers to not

Ms. Neal (half laughing): No, I'm just giving you hell!

T&R: I make him stay in the shed. It's like "We don't have the money for a guest house, but we did build a shed, Dad"

Ms. Neal: (laughing still) Just push the tools aside!

T&R: Just move the chickens!

(Ms. Neal laughs)

T&R: That's exactly right!...So, now then, there's the regular Law&Order, and then you've got the Special Victims Unit...are there gonna be any other spinoffs of this?

Ms. Neal: Well, I don't know if you guys remember this, but there was Trial By Jury that was here for a while...

T&R: Because we were just talking to Paul...ahh.. Guifoyle from CSI...

Ms. Neal: Ooo--ooh! (She does one of her voices, like this eerie Halloween music)

T&R: Yeah, I know...I'm sorry...but everybody was...he was just mentioning how...you know we're all television and radio and all that? It's really tough on the writers, isn't it, when there are so many generations of this product, to come up with something new...

Ms. Neal: I think it's a little easier with the Law&Orders then, say, like the CSI's, because they're all so specific, like SVU, ours is about...you know, basically sex crimes...it's a real division in New York...and, you know, regular Law&Order is mostly about homicides. And then you've got Criminal Intent with Vincent D'Onofrio, which is all about the mind of the criminal...so it makes it a little easier than, just like, three shows that have a
totally similar format, just different cities.

T&R: Yah, yah, that makes sense, but you have to admit...I mean at some point, there's like a FINITE number of these things...and not to compare yours with CSI, but even having three Law&Order-type shows on the same network...it stretches it. Wouldn't you rather
be the unique product?

Ms. Neal: Yeah! At some point, you're like (does one of her voices) "How many more can they make?" But as long as they keep...you know...the QUALITY really high...it's unbelieveable.

T&R: Which one of the Law&Orders does the best for ahh...NBC

Ms. Neal: Yeah, they're amazing, and they...Which one?

T&R: Yeah

Ms. Neal: They all trade places

T&R: Really?

Ms. Neal: Yeah...like, some weeks Criminal Intent will be number one in the ratings. And sometimes it's us...

T&R: sure...

Ms. Neal: and sometimes it's regular Law&Order

T&R: But obviously they're all doing well, because they're all still on...

Ms. Neal: Yeah, they're all still on, and think they're all, like, top ten, so...

T&R: Sheesh!

Ms. Neal: Yeah! You can't really complain

T&R: No you can't. So, you got a steady gig in television. Those are fairly rare.

Ms. Neal: Yeah, I know that's...uh...pretty s-sweet, (hints of a laugh coming)

T&R: We're talking to Diane Neal...Is there ever an "Ew!" factor when you read a script, Diane, and...this is like over the top?

Ms. Neal: A few of them gave me nightmares. But, here's the crazy thing, right? So, like most of the scripts are based on real cases, and that's actually where we're lucky...like, the writers are very lucky because people keep committing crimes.

T&R: (laugh) There's nothing better than the truth.

Ms. Neal: But...ahh... they usually make the shows less worse than the cases were in real life 'cause (heavy emphasis in her voice now) NO ONE would believe it!

T&R: Isn't that creepy?

Ms. Neal: That blows my mind!

T&R: I would imagine too...

Ms. Neal: I imagine I'm on the subway and like (does one of her voices again, kind of like the ray gun sound from one of those 1950's sci-fi B-movies) "Neeeeyyuuuhh!!!" Just looking around at people...

T&R: Yeah, I know...I would imagine that the writers access the internet very often to come up with some of these stories.

Ms. Neal: I'm sure a couple of the writers are on the feds' most wanted Internet predators list too, because they're doing all this research on pedophilia.

T&R: And it's all going back to the same IP address...

Ms. Neal: Exactly, and they're all like "What's WRONG with this person?"

(T&R laugh)

Ms. Neal: Yah! There are gonna be huge raids on all the SVU writers' houses one day.

T&R: So, let me ask you this. Do Ice T and Coco ever have people over to the house?

Ms. Neal: I haven't been over to the house. I don't THINK so. I'm sure they have, like, Ice's BUDDIES

T&R: You know what I'm saying?

Ms. Neal: Yah! I think it would be sweet. I'd like to be invited to Ice's house.

T&R: You'd HAVE to see it! You'd HAVE to go, wouldn't ya? Oh, man!

Ms. Neal: But, they're like the coolest people alive. Like
all...we actually have a standing date. We're taking them to Red Lobsters in Times Square.

(everybody laughs)

Ms. Neal: We just gotta get the schedule sorted.

T&R: You know then, ya man...

Ms. Neal: They're the nicest people...(inaudible) Even his
dressing room is crazy

T&R: His dressing room is crazy?

Ms. Neal: Yeah, it's all, like, (heavy emphasis in her voice) RED and BLACK, and, you know, like, big Scarface posters and stuff, I'm like...

T&R: And he's married to a woman...she used to be a dancer I guess?

Ms. Neal: Coco? Yeah! She's got all kinds of, you know, adult internet sites, and (inaudible)and...she's a MAJOR EN-tre-PRENEUR!

T&R: Yeah, most of us don't see that much of our spouses in a whole and entire year!

Ms. Neal: Yeah-HA-HA-HA!

T&R: You put in Coco, on the Internet, and you se lots of Mrs. Ice-T.

Ms. Neal: But you hear that she's really proud of it. She's really hot, she loves it, you know, she did it all herself...

T&R: That's right man, that's what they do!

Ms. Neal: HEY! So...

T&R: You know, I don't know which Ice I like better, the Ice of SVU, or the Ice hosting HBO's Pimps Up, Hoes Down

Ms. Neal: That's my favourite.

T&R: I'm not sure. You know what I'm saying, player. Na-home.

Ms. Neal: That's a hard one.

T&R: Alright! Diane Neal!

Ms. Neal: Yes?

T&R: Thank you very much for being on our humble program.

Ms. Neal: Absolutely! Well, have a great day, guys! And enjoy the NANNY (her voice gets snarky)

T&R: I think she called and got angry.

Ms. Neal: Well, if she does, just ask her some SVU questions.

(T&R laugh)

T&R: We'll ask the Nanny about sexual assault in Central Park. That's wonderful. And Diane, hello to your cousins.

Ms. Neal: Absolutely, and have a great day, guys!

Thanks to rebeccah zuazua over at Caseynovak