Post by missincabot on Sept 11, 2005 12:22:40 GMT -5
Title: Come What May
Setting: During the episode "Loss" therefore there are "Loss" spoilers for anyone who has not seen this episode. (There is also one reference to the episode "Fallacy" and one to the episode "Guilt.")
Pairing: Olivia/Alex (This fic assumes that they had an on-going relationship)
Summary: This fanfic is the result of watching "Loss" and the movie "Moulin Rouge" way too many times. It is another interpretation of this episode with a few "deleted scenes" that I added in. Alex makes a sacrifice in hopes of saving Olivia from herself...if you're a fan of "Moulin Rouge" you might see the connection, if not than just know that it's a great movie and it inspired me to write this fic. Also, the song lyrics that appear later are from the song "Come What May" off the "Moulin Rouge" soundtrack.
Disclaimer: All of the characters and some dialogue belong to Mr. Wolf. I'm just borrowing them for fun!
Rating and Warning: PG-13 for mild and censored language. If f/f is not for you, than neither is this fic.
Feedback of any kind is welcome and encouraged! Just reply to this tread, PM me, email me, or whatever. Just know that this is my first fanfic in a long while so please be gentle with the constructive criticism. Thanks!
Scene I: Olivia, Elliot, and Alex are at a bar discussing the Zepata case. This first scene is told from Olivia's point of view.
"It never seems like enough you know," Alex whispered as she fiddled with her drink and sighed. "The feds will get Zepata for murdering Donovan but what about Olivia Sandoval? She dies without any justice and we're supposed to be happy about it. We tell ourselves that we speak for the victims but we don't. We can close cases but the victims, even if they survive their lives are ruined. I just get so sick of it."
I hate when you get like this. When we are alone I joke with you and call them your "spells of doubt" where you don't realize just how good of an ADA you really are and how many people you help come to terms with what happened to them. I wish I could hold you in my arms and go through my usual routine of boosting your confidence, and then trying to get your mind off the danger and frustration that this case is bringing you, but Elliot is here and you have always made it clear that you aren't ready for anyone to know about "us."
"We can't always win," I hear Elliot say as he tries to comfort you.
"That's just it, even when we win we don't," you say while rising from your chair and grabbing your coat with a look of utter hopelessness, "C'mon let's get out of here." This is definitely worse than most of your other "spells." Even after the Cheryl Avery case, when you went through blaming yourself entirely for Cheryl's gang rape at Rikers or your guilt after Sam Cavanaugh's attempted suicide during the Roy Barnett molestation case, I managed to pacify your self-hatred. I could tell you that there was nothing more you could've done; the law stated that Cheryl was still anatomically a male and it was not you that sent Cheryl to that male prison, and that Sam had issues even before we convinced him to file charges. After a long while, you recovered from those disturbing cases, but now are you losing faith in your job? With the car bomb, Donovan's death, and the threats made against you, do you even believe that you are still vital in finding justice for the victims?
As we exited the bar Elliot offered to get you a cab, but you declined saying that your house isn't far.
"You could come over to my place…if it'd make you feel safer," I say, and I quickly add the last part of my statement so that you won't think Elliot will see anything else behind my offer. I have to be with you tonight to try to calm your fears and disappointment that revolve around Cesar Velaz and Zepata.
"No thanks," you tell me while quickly glancing at Elliot and awkwardly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. Gosh I hate that you are so paranoid that people might find out about you being gay. "Sorry I'm such a buzzkill," you say looking back at me, and I know you are really apologizing for your cowardice towards coming out of the closet.
"No, I completely understand," I say back to you, communicating through my eyes that it's okay. I know how afraid you are about compromising your political career with being open about your love life. But I could never stay mad about this because your ambition is one of your most attractive qualities. I Love that about you.
"It's late Alex, and you should really just go home and get some sleep…"
BANG, BANG, BANG
I fell to the ground at the sound of the gunshots. When I look up I see Elliot running after a black SUV and godd*mnit it doesn't look like he's going to catch them. But I don't see you at my side where you should be. I glance behind me and my fears are confirmed. You're lying behind me motionless. I can't breathe.
"Alex!" I frantically crawl to your body and see blood gushing from your shoulder and try to stop the flow with my hand. "It's okay sweetie, it's okay," I desperately whisper. "Come on Alex stay with me! Stay with me!"
I look up and see Elliot out of breath gazing at you in complete shock. Elliot, godd*mnit call 911, get help, do something except f*cking stand there! I want to yell at him but all my voice can manage is terrified whispers of your name as I try to shake you back to life. "Alex, Alex, Alex."
Scene II: At the hospital. Scene II is told from Olivia's point of view.
I gaze at you lying in the hospital bed, watching machines keep you alive. Why didn't you just come home with me? Elliot wouldn't have thought a d*mn thing about it, I mean hell, I've been his partner for over 5 years now, and he still doesn't know about my sexuality. Well, maybe he does seeing as we are so close, but even then he doesn't f*cking care! God Alex, we could've gone straight to my car and this would've never happened! What if I lose you tonight?
I hastily try to wipe away my tears as my thoughts are interrupted by Elliot walking into the white and insanely bright room with my cup of coffee. He hands me the cup and sits down in the chair next to me.
"Liv, you've been here forever and I know you haven't slept in at least 36 hours. I'll stay here with Alex, so you can go home and try to get some rest. I've already called Kathy and the kids and told them what happened. You don't want to look like hell when she wakes up do you?"
God I love him for saying "when."
"Elliot," I say sternly, looking him dead in the eye. Goodness his eyes are bloodshot; he's probably gotten just about as much sleep as I have - none. "I can't leave her. I need to be here if she…if she…"
"Liv don't say it," he says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Look, they probably have a place for you to catch a few winks in this hospital. I'll stay here with Alex and I promise to come get you if anything happens or if the doctors tell me something new. And when she opens her eyes she'll have a friend here."
I have to tell him. He won't let me be unless he knows the truth. "Elliot, I think Alex would love to have you here but…" *sigh*, "she would also like to have someone here who considers her as more than just a friend if she regains consciousness." I pause taking a deep breath as Elliot gave me a puzzled look and leaned back in his chair allowing me to continue.
Whew. Here it comes. I looked down at the tile floor and quickly blurted out, "You see, Alex and me…well uh…we've kinda uh…been seeing each other for some time now." When I managed to get that out I looked up to see Elliot's reaction. His eyes grew very wide at first, but then he smiled gently.
"You know, I guess I'm not that surprised. You and Cabot eh? For how long?"
"We've been off and on for about 3 years now," I replied
He nodded slowly and timidly asked, "Do you love her?"
His directness took me off guard, and yet I didn't need a split second to think about my answer, "Yes. With all I am and all I will ever be, I love her."
He smiled and gave a firm nod. Elliot is so utterly in love with Kathy; I know he understands the deepness of what I've just said.
"Well that explains why you won't listen to reason and get some sleep!" He yelled at me jokingly. "It also explains a few other things as well," he said slyly with that smirk of his, "like how jealous you were when we caught her on that fancy date with Trevor." God, Elliot is the only man I know who can be totally sweet to you and tease you in the same breath, and then not look like a complete jerk for doing it.
I glared at him in jest and forced a laugh - a false laugh but a laugh nonetheless. "Shut up Elliot!" I tried to keep up the comical atmosphere but it was just too painful for me, and Elliot could tell.
"Ok, I know you don't want to leave, but Alex is going to need you when she wakes up. And by 'you' I mean an alert person who is going to be able to tell her what happened and help her deal with this traumatic event, not the dazed and exhausted 'you' I see right now," he said with all seriousness.
I knew he was right. I hugged him and thanked him for everything, and went off to find a spare bed somewhere in the hospital, promising your limp form that I would be back very soon. I kissed your forehead and left.
(This fic is finished but it's kind of long so I'm going to break it up to pace you all )
Setting: During the episode "Loss" therefore there are "Loss" spoilers for anyone who has not seen this episode. (There is also one reference to the episode "Fallacy" and one to the episode "Guilt.")
Pairing: Olivia/Alex (This fic assumes that they had an on-going relationship)
Summary: This fanfic is the result of watching "Loss" and the movie "Moulin Rouge" way too many times. It is another interpretation of this episode with a few "deleted scenes" that I added in. Alex makes a sacrifice in hopes of saving Olivia from herself...if you're a fan of "Moulin Rouge" you might see the connection, if not than just know that it's a great movie and it inspired me to write this fic. Also, the song lyrics that appear later are from the song "Come What May" off the "Moulin Rouge" soundtrack.
Disclaimer: All of the characters and some dialogue belong to Mr. Wolf. I'm just borrowing them for fun!
Rating and Warning: PG-13 for mild and censored language. If f/f is not for you, than neither is this fic.
Feedback of any kind is welcome and encouraged! Just reply to this tread, PM me, email me, or whatever. Just know that this is my first fanfic in a long while so please be gentle with the constructive criticism. Thanks!
Scene I: Olivia, Elliot, and Alex are at a bar discussing the Zepata case. This first scene is told from Olivia's point of view.
"It never seems like enough you know," Alex whispered as she fiddled with her drink and sighed. "The feds will get Zepata for murdering Donovan but what about Olivia Sandoval? She dies without any justice and we're supposed to be happy about it. We tell ourselves that we speak for the victims but we don't. We can close cases but the victims, even if they survive their lives are ruined. I just get so sick of it."
I hate when you get like this. When we are alone I joke with you and call them your "spells of doubt" where you don't realize just how good of an ADA you really are and how many people you help come to terms with what happened to them. I wish I could hold you in my arms and go through my usual routine of boosting your confidence, and then trying to get your mind off the danger and frustration that this case is bringing you, but Elliot is here and you have always made it clear that you aren't ready for anyone to know about "us."
"We can't always win," I hear Elliot say as he tries to comfort you.
"That's just it, even when we win we don't," you say while rising from your chair and grabbing your coat with a look of utter hopelessness, "C'mon let's get out of here." This is definitely worse than most of your other "spells." Even after the Cheryl Avery case, when you went through blaming yourself entirely for Cheryl's gang rape at Rikers or your guilt after Sam Cavanaugh's attempted suicide during the Roy Barnett molestation case, I managed to pacify your self-hatred. I could tell you that there was nothing more you could've done; the law stated that Cheryl was still anatomically a male and it was not you that sent Cheryl to that male prison, and that Sam had issues even before we convinced him to file charges. After a long while, you recovered from those disturbing cases, but now are you losing faith in your job? With the car bomb, Donovan's death, and the threats made against you, do you even believe that you are still vital in finding justice for the victims?
As we exited the bar Elliot offered to get you a cab, but you declined saying that your house isn't far.
"You could come over to my place…if it'd make you feel safer," I say, and I quickly add the last part of my statement so that you won't think Elliot will see anything else behind my offer. I have to be with you tonight to try to calm your fears and disappointment that revolve around Cesar Velaz and Zepata.
"No thanks," you tell me while quickly glancing at Elliot and awkwardly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. Gosh I hate that you are so paranoid that people might find out about you being gay. "Sorry I'm such a buzzkill," you say looking back at me, and I know you are really apologizing for your cowardice towards coming out of the closet.
"No, I completely understand," I say back to you, communicating through my eyes that it's okay. I know how afraid you are about compromising your political career with being open about your love life. But I could never stay mad about this because your ambition is one of your most attractive qualities. I Love that about you.
"It's late Alex, and you should really just go home and get some sleep…"
BANG, BANG, BANG
I fell to the ground at the sound of the gunshots. When I look up I see Elliot running after a black SUV and godd*mnit it doesn't look like he's going to catch them. But I don't see you at my side where you should be. I glance behind me and my fears are confirmed. You're lying behind me motionless. I can't breathe.
"Alex!" I frantically crawl to your body and see blood gushing from your shoulder and try to stop the flow with my hand. "It's okay sweetie, it's okay," I desperately whisper. "Come on Alex stay with me! Stay with me!"
I look up and see Elliot out of breath gazing at you in complete shock. Elliot, godd*mnit call 911, get help, do something except f*cking stand there! I want to yell at him but all my voice can manage is terrified whispers of your name as I try to shake you back to life. "Alex, Alex, Alex."
Scene II: At the hospital. Scene II is told from Olivia's point of view.
I gaze at you lying in the hospital bed, watching machines keep you alive. Why didn't you just come home with me? Elliot wouldn't have thought a d*mn thing about it, I mean hell, I've been his partner for over 5 years now, and he still doesn't know about my sexuality. Well, maybe he does seeing as we are so close, but even then he doesn't f*cking care! God Alex, we could've gone straight to my car and this would've never happened! What if I lose you tonight?
I hastily try to wipe away my tears as my thoughts are interrupted by Elliot walking into the white and insanely bright room with my cup of coffee. He hands me the cup and sits down in the chair next to me.
"Liv, you've been here forever and I know you haven't slept in at least 36 hours. I'll stay here with Alex, so you can go home and try to get some rest. I've already called Kathy and the kids and told them what happened. You don't want to look like hell when she wakes up do you?"
God I love him for saying "when."
"Elliot," I say sternly, looking him dead in the eye. Goodness his eyes are bloodshot; he's probably gotten just about as much sleep as I have - none. "I can't leave her. I need to be here if she…if she…"
"Liv don't say it," he says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Look, they probably have a place for you to catch a few winks in this hospital. I'll stay here with Alex and I promise to come get you if anything happens or if the doctors tell me something new. And when she opens her eyes she'll have a friend here."
I have to tell him. He won't let me be unless he knows the truth. "Elliot, I think Alex would love to have you here but…" *sigh*, "she would also like to have someone here who considers her as more than just a friend if she regains consciousness." I pause taking a deep breath as Elliot gave me a puzzled look and leaned back in his chair allowing me to continue.
Whew. Here it comes. I looked down at the tile floor and quickly blurted out, "You see, Alex and me…well uh…we've kinda uh…been seeing each other for some time now." When I managed to get that out I looked up to see Elliot's reaction. His eyes grew very wide at first, but then he smiled gently.
"You know, I guess I'm not that surprised. You and Cabot eh? For how long?"
"We've been off and on for about 3 years now," I replied
He nodded slowly and timidly asked, "Do you love her?"
His directness took me off guard, and yet I didn't need a split second to think about my answer, "Yes. With all I am and all I will ever be, I love her."
He smiled and gave a firm nod. Elliot is so utterly in love with Kathy; I know he understands the deepness of what I've just said.
"Well that explains why you won't listen to reason and get some sleep!" He yelled at me jokingly. "It also explains a few other things as well," he said slyly with that smirk of his, "like how jealous you were when we caught her on that fancy date with Trevor." God, Elliot is the only man I know who can be totally sweet to you and tease you in the same breath, and then not look like a complete jerk for doing it.
I glared at him in jest and forced a laugh - a false laugh but a laugh nonetheless. "Shut up Elliot!" I tried to keep up the comical atmosphere but it was just too painful for me, and Elliot could tell.
"Ok, I know you don't want to leave, but Alex is going to need you when she wakes up. And by 'you' I mean an alert person who is going to be able to tell her what happened and help her deal with this traumatic event, not the dazed and exhausted 'you' I see right now," he said with all seriousness.
I knew he was right. I hugged him and thanked him for everything, and went off to find a spare bed somewhere in the hospital, promising your limp form that I would be back very soon. I kissed your forehead and left.
(This fic is finished but it's kind of long so I'm going to break it up to pace you all )