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Post by jenwen on Jul 25, 2010 17:19:42 GMT -5
Loved this episode! Think Benson and Stabler really have their chemistry back on top form this season.
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Post by jenwen on Jul 17, 2010 15:38:01 GMT -5
Chapter 5 I'm trying to remember why I was afraid To be myself and let the covers fall away Guess I never had someone like you To help me fit in my skin
She had just settled on the couch with a glass of her favourite Merlot when the buzzer to her apartment went. As she pressed the speaker button she knew who it would be, 'Liv, it's me'. She buzzed him in, left the door on the latch, grabbed an empty glass and resumed her position on the couch. As she took another large gulp of her wine she heard the door swing open and close quietly behind him, he came into the living area and paced up and down for a moment before eventually deciding on a seat. He sat on the chair closest to the couch where Olivia was sat, there were mere millimetres between their bodies as he leant forward and rested his weight on his knees. He grazed his hand across his chin, it was clear to them both that he was at a loss as to where to start. He had no idea how to fix this; in fact he wasn't even sure if it was possible to fix it.
It was Olivia who made the first gesture, she poured him a glass of wine and handed it to him, sure she had an overwhelming urge to throw it over him but she managed to fight it. After taking a sip and placing the glass on the table in front of him he decided it was now or never.
'Liv, you've got me all wrong…what I said back in the bar. It's not what you think'.
She raised an eyebrow and fired him an inquisitive look encouraging him to continue.
'The way I made it sound, I sounded like I was cheating on Kathy. You know me Liv, you know me better than I know myself and you know that I'm not capable of doing that. Yes I'm not in love with her anymore but I wouldn't disrespect her like that.'
'Then what the hell did you mean Elliot? And you never explained why the hell I might have some feeling of guilt for the breakdown of your marriage?' Her tone was hostile, she was pissed at him and he knew it. It wasn't the right time to tell her, but it was necessary. There was nothing else he could do to stop her from hating him.
'I'll tell you' he sighed and continued 'but you have to promise to let me finish, I can't do this if you're going to fly off the handle. I need you to hear it all, please.' There was sincerity in his voice, he was showing emotion, more than was normal for him and she recognised it immediately. She responded to his request with a subtle nod, assuring him she would let him finish.
'When I told you earlier there was someone else I meant it. I'm not trying to deny the fact that I am in love with someone else, madly in love if I'm completely honest. It terrifies me, I've never felt as strongly for anyone in my life before. I know you probably think that right now I'm trying to justify a sordid affair but I swear to you Liv I have never so much as touched another woman. Kathy is the only woman that I have ever been with. '
'But I…'
'Please Liv let me finish, if I don't tell you all this now I never will and I can't keep living like this. I'm not going to insult you by telling you I haven't thought about being with another woman, I have, only the one….crap Liv! The woman I'm talking about doesn't even know I'm in love with her. I don't know if she sees me in the same way but Kathy has had enough of it. She's known from the moment I came home and told her about the amazing woman I'd met. I've been a crap husband for years, she deserves to move on. To be happy with someone who is in love with her and only her.'
Elliot paused for a second too long giving Olivia the chance to speak
'Elliot I'm sorry I jumped down your throat earlier, it wasn't my place and you shouldn't have to make your extra marital activities or lack thereof accountable to me, however, since we're talking about it now how is it possible that after 7 years of being your partner…of being your best friend I have never heard you even talk about another woman in a way that would make me suspect something? I mean I've probably spent more of the past 7 years with you than Kathy has yet she picked up on it and I didn't? And I still don't understand why the hell I should feel guilty?'
A half laugh escaped Elliot's lips and he placed his head in his hands. 'You really have no idea do you? Liv there has only been one person that I tried to hide my feelings from more than Kathy…you Liv, I couldn't tell you or let you know that I was in love'. The look on Olivia's face only showed how confused she was.
Elliot stood up and began to pace the floor again, 'The reason I didn't want you to feel guilty was because Kathy always assumed we were having an affair, she always threw it in my face anytime we argued, that I spent too much time with you and not enough at home with her. She always told me to run off to 'my Olivia'. I told her it wasn't true that we weren't having an affair but she never listened. She always claimed that I was in love with you and was only with her because of the kids.'
Olivia practically tiptoed over to him and placed her hands on his forearms 'hey, Elliot don't worry about me. I know it isn't true and so do you. Kathy's bound to know now to since she knows you're in love with someone else'.
Elliot exhaled and placed one hand on Olivia's face, stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. 'Liv…don't hate me, please don't hate me'. She could see the emotion in his eyes. Elliot Stabler, the tough cop who was known for throwing perps against the wall was standing right infront of her and his captivating blue eyes were swimming with tears that were threatening to fall. She stared into his eyes almost getting lost in them whilst waiting for him to continue. She shook her head, assuring him that would never happen; it couldn't even if she wanted to. He didn't realise it but her heart was breaking the more he divulged, she'd always known that he was married and therefore out of bounds but to know that he wasn't even in love with his wife and had chosen someone else killed her.
'Olivia, the reason that you might have felt guilty isn't because of Kathy's accusations about us having an affair, it's due to the fact that the woman that I have fallen in love with is you. It's always been you, from the moment you walked into the bullpen I couldn't stop it and everyday it's got worse…I keep falling deeper and deeper. I know I've been an insufferable bastard for the past month but I didn't want to scare you, to make you run from me. I didn't want you to think that I was only going to you on the rebound. I understand if you want to change partners and want me to get the hell out right now but please say something and if you can't do that then I am begging you not to hate me'.
Olivia didn't move nor did she speak. She stayed exactly where she was, with Elliot's hand on her face and her fingertips resting on his forearms. Her head was spinning, how was it possible that the man she had longed for, for the last 7 years was now telling her that he was in love with her.
The tears that had been promising to fall from Elliot's eyes were now fulfilling said promise but Elliot wasn't alone in shedding a tear. Olivia's deep brown eyes began to expel delicate tears, she didn't wipe them from her eyes in truth she didn't even realise she was crying until Elliot gently wiped them from her face.
'Liv please, say something, anything. I need to know what you're thinking'
'El, I…you don't have to tell me you love me. It's okay, I'm not angry at you about the whole Kathy thing just please, don't tell me you love me if you don't' There was a desperation in her voice, she sounded fragile, if he took back his words she knew it would destroy her.
Elliot moved a step closer, their bodies were now touching. He cupped her face with his hands. 'Liv I have never meant anything more in my life, I am in love with you. I can't go a minute without thinking about you, thinking about us, what we could be but I understand if you don't feel the same way, hell I'm not sure it's possible for you to feel the same way. I'm over my head here'.
Olivia did the only thing that felt natural, the only thing she could do. She moved even closer into his embrace and tilted her head towards him, their lips were almost touching 'kiss me El' she whispered. Cautiously Elliot lowered his head to meet hers, their lips met. They were nervous in their approach at first but as Olivia wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck, her hands entwining in his short hair he took this as permission to deepen the kiss. It seemed like a small eternity before they broke for air, they stared at each other both mesmerised by what had just happened. Neither of them had experienced a kiss like that before, it embodied 7 years of love, lust and friendship.
Olivia was the first to move, she stepped back and ran her hand through her hair. 'Elliot we…you're still married'. Elliot's heart fell, he knew it was too much to hope for, he knew she couldn't possibly share his feelings.
'Liv, my divorce will be through in a week, Donnelly is speeding things along for me as a favour but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like you had to…that kiss…it was amazing and I'm glad that we shared it but I understand if you don't want to con..if you don't want me'.
She laughed 'Elliot you have no idea. I have wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you but I knew it could never happen, you were married and I respected that. It made my dating life a little less interesting because I always compared every date to you', she stepped forward and ran her hand down his face 'none of them even came close. I guess with other guys I never felt comfortable enough to be myself, to let the covers fall away and to show them the real me. With you it's natural, that's why this is scaring me…I've never had someone like you to help me fit in my skin'.
Elliot placed a delicate kiss on the tip of her nose and looked into her beautiful brown eyes 'with me baby you never have to be afraid, ever. I know I've hurt you more than I like to think about this past month but Olivia it was because I'm in love with you. I was scared you'd run, that you'd be scared of this…of us'.
'I've never been scared of you El, I could never be scared of you. This just seems too good to be true. I never imagined that you could feel this way for me. I'm scared that I'll wake up and it will all have been a dream'.
With that Elliot kissed her once more and lifted her into his arms. He walked them to the bedroom never once breaking the kiss.
Okay so do I continue or do I leave as is? opinions please!
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Post by jenwen on Jul 17, 2010 15:36:58 GMT -5
I've never felt like this before. I'm naked around you. Does it show? You see right through me and I can't hide. I'm naked around you and it feels so right.
The anticipation of what was coming next was killing her. Her chest felt tight, she was struggling to breathe…what the hell was he going to say? What had he done that had made her leave him? How could it have been so bad? Olivia was unsure of what lengths a man as perfect as Elliot would have to push her to before she left him, that thought alone terrified her. She was in too deep and was struggling to reach the surface. She'd admitted it to Alex and now she was finally accepting it for herself.
He finished his drink quickly, a little too quickly if he was perfectly honest with himself and began something that he knew would change his life, he just didn't know if it would make it worth living again or take away the last good thing that he had. He took a deep breath and began…
'Liv when I was home I was never really there. Kathy could tell my heart wasn't in it anymore. I love her, I'll always love her, she gave me my kids but I'm not in love with her. I haven't been for the past 7 years. There's someone else and she knew it, I just never had the balls to tell her myself. I've never felt like this before, she, the other woman…she knows me inside and out. She knows everything about me, for want of a better phrase I'm naked around her, she sees right through me. I can't hide from her. It just feels so right. I mean Kathy always suggested something was going on but I never thought…'
Before he could finish Liv interjected 'You're not the man I thought you were El. I've had problems with Kathy in the past, hell we've had arguments but she didn't deserve this. I never thought you would be the kind of man who would cheat on his wife. I thought you of all people with your 'faith' would value the sanctity of marriage, not sleeping with the first sleeper who offered herself up.'
With that Olivia rose of her chair and practically ran from the bar. She was angry, angry at him for cheating on his wife and implying that their breakup had something to do with her. She was also angry at herself for being drawn to a man who clearly had no respect for women or relationships.
As she walked back to her apartment she looked at her phone to check the time and was amazed to find it was only 7pm, how had so much crap gone down in so short a period of time. Not only was she shocked by the time but was confused as to why she had 6 missed calls from Alex. Now was really not the time to talk, if she spoke to someone now she knew that she would break Elliot's trust and regardless of how big a bastard he was she wouldn't lower herself to his level. She was on the moral high ground right now and wanted to retain her position. Sure she was in love with a married man but unlike him she would never act upon her feelings.
When she finally reached her apartment she decided that it wasn't late enough to call it a night she needed to escape from this, now. She headed for the fridge and a bottle of wine that had her name on it.
*Back at the bar*
As soon as she left Elliot knew that he had made a massive mistake, he had approached it completely wrong. He was so nervous he didn't know where to start and boy had he fucked up. He had to fix it and the moment to fix it was right now. He finished his drink, went outside and hailed a cab. She would be home by now and he needed to see her, he needed to explain that he wasn't the pathetic excuse of a man she thought he was. He was honest, decent and head over heels in love….in love with his partner. He had been for the past 7 years.
Hope you like! Quite a short chapter! More a filler before we get into major E/O! I dunno maybe this chapter is a thrown together a tad but I'm really enjoying writing this one and don't want to stop lol! I may actually delete my other fanfic…I think I like the structure that a song gives me! What do you think? Are you enjoying so far? Are you hating it? Tell me! Follow me on twitter jenwen2000 is my username!
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Post by jenwen on Jul 17, 2010 15:36:04 GMT -5
Chapter 3 Then you came around me, The walls just disappeared, Nothin' to surround me Keep me from my fears I'm unprotected, See how I've opened up(oh), You've made me trust
Olivia was on her 2nd vodka by the time a tall dark handsome man with the most piercing blue eyes she had ever seen walked into the bar. She noticed him immediately, how could she not notice him. His face was rugged yet his eyes and soft pink lips softened it and his body was nothing short of perfect. She had never found someone more attractive in her entire life and in spite of herself she turned away hoping that he wouldn't notice her. That he would turn around and leave, it would be easier that way…for them both.
She should have known, luck was not on her side today. She felt his presence before she looked at him again. He was now right beside her perched on a stool at the bar, he quickly grabbed the bartenders attention and ordered a double vodka on the rocks. The bartender served him quickly but he didn't speak to the woman beside him. Instead he just stared down at his drink. Olivia was feeling incredibly uneasy, this was an awkward situation and she wanted out of there. Just as she was about to up and leave he spoke.
'Liv…I…I'm sorry for what I said back there. I should have known, I mean I know you …I know you would never do that. crap! I've really fucked this up.'
Olivia remained mute for a moment but eventually whispered a response. She wasn't even sure she'd said it herself but when she felt his hand on her arm she knew she had. She knew that she had just told her partner that he had hurt her. Never had she relinquished her power in a 'relationship' with a man before. Hell she prided herself on the fact that she had never let ANY man know that he had hurt her and here she was telling her partner who she had to work alongside day in and day out that he had been the one to break her.
For the first time in weeks Elliot stared at her 'Liv look at me, please'. She wearily raised her head not sure of what she was going to see in his eyes and more worryingly what would he see in hers. Would he see the extent of the pain he had caused? Would he see the love she felt for him? Olivia held her breath as their eyes met. She had never been as scared as she was right now, no one had ever made her feel the way Elliot did, and when she was with him the walls she had built up around herself disappeared, there was nothing to hide behind; with him she realised her fears …the biggest of all being that he would discover how she truly felt towards him.
'Liv, I never meant to hurt you. You're the one thing in my life that is constant. You're always there for me. You know what I need when I don't even know myself. You're the only one I've trusted and felt comfortable enough with to tell them about the divorce'. He took her hand and began to move his thumb in small, smooth circles on the back of her hand. 'Olivia, you..you are the last person I would ever want to hurt'.
Olivia could hardly believe the situation that was unfolding around her. Here he was telling her that she was the one who he trusted, who he valued yet she was the one who he had verbally abused and treated like crap for the past 4 weeks!
She quickly withdrew her hand from his and took another gulp of her drink. The cold hard
taste of the vodka gave her just enough encouragement to tell him exactly what she thought.
'You trust me? You don't want to hurt me? Do you honestly think that the only time you have hurt me was back in the precinct today? Elliot for Christ' sake you have been slowly killing me every second of everyday for the past month. You hardly look at me and when you do you throw me a callous look or spit venomous words at me. I've been standing up for you, telling everyone what a f**k**g great guy you are, yet it's me…no one else that you use as your verbal punchbag! I didn't deserve it! I don't deserve it!' As soon as she finished she downed the rest of the drink and signalled to the barman for another, if she had to sit here and have this heart to heart with him she needed something to numb the pain.
He could feel his heart crumbling within his chest, how could he not realise he had made her feel like this. He surmised that it was due to the fact she was always so strong, she was brave for the victims and downright hard with the victims. It had never occurred to him that his actions would hurt her.
'Liv I'm so sorry, it's just everything with Kathy and the kids. I guess, because we're so close that I took my anger and frustration out on you. I shouldn't have, I know that now.'
'What is happening with you and Kathy is absolutely NOTHING to do with me Elliot. I don't care how close we are it is not an excuse to constantly berate me. crap! I mean you haven't even told me exactly what went wrong with you and Kathy, I'm your friend …you tell me you trust me yet all I know is Kathy has left you. If you had actually trusted me you would have told me more. I would have tried to help. I've only ever tried to help.' Olivia was starting to feel light headed now, the vodka was having its desired effect and now it was Elliot's turn to drown his sorrows. He ordered another double and as soon as the barman brought it over he downed it, ready to give Olivia the truth…or at least part of it.
'You really want the truth about Kathy and I, I'm more than willing to tell you Olivia. God I've wanted to tell you since it all started but I couldn't. I didn't want to….I didn't want to make you feel guilty. It wasn't your fault'.
Olivia widened her eyes in response to him but stayed silent. What exactly was he trying to say? She was thankful that he had finished his previous sentence by confirming it wasn't her fault, over the past God knows how many years she had only ever tried to help him and Kathy sort out their difference. Infact on more than one occasion she had been the one who went to Kathy and asked her not to leave him, why had he not come to her this time? Maybe she could have helped save his marriage?
Elliot continued 'It was Kathy…she couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't handle us. You, me, our working relationship. The fact that I was never home, and when I was home….' He stopped. He knew that if he went on it could ruin everything that he had fought for the past hour to regain. Then again if he didn't tell her now would he ever have the chance again. He had never had a relationship like the one that he had developed over recent years with Liv. Around her he opened up. She made him trust.
So what do you guys think so far? I haven't received very many reviews however Edge15684 I must thank you! You've been more than kind with yours so far and have left a few for me!
Let me know if there's a particular direction you think I should go in next. Obviously that would be a lot easier if you listen to the song the story is loosely based upon. Avril Lavigne-Naked. Is there anything in particular you would like to see?
Please review and follow me on twitter jenwen2000
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Post by jenwen on Jul 17, 2010 15:35:06 GMT -5
Again…I own none of the characters or lyrics. I hope you're enjoying so far! Please let me know…if you love it tell me, if you hate it tell me! Feedback is much desired! Also feel free to review by following me on twitter jenwen2000
Doesn't really matter how I feel inside. This life is like a game sometimes
Olivia arrived at the precinct shortly before 9am, her head was now pounding and no matter how much coffee she drank she knew today was not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. He was already there sitting at his desk with his head down working on a DD5, in her hungover haze Olivia had forgotten that Cragen had put them on desk duty for the next week (she wasn't pleased about it but assumed it was because of her partner's recent shift in character so she didn't argue).
She quickly sat down and took a sip of her coffee, strangely even though their relationship had disintegrated over recent weeks he still provided her with this little token every morning. Such a simple act was enough to keep her happy; she didn't speak to him for at least an hour apart from saying thank you for his kind gesture. Her words went unnoticed; he didn't so much as glance up to acknowledge her presence.
They spent most of the day filling in DD5's, filing old reports and only speaking when absolutely necessary. Stabler snapped at anyone within a 5 foot radius and Olivia remained silent most of the day trying to fight the need to vomit. She swore she would kill Alex for encouraging her.
Shortly after 4 Alex entered the bullpen looking for Fin and Munch in order to clarify a few details about a case that was about to go to court but stopped briefly to chat with Olivia. They skirted around the issue that was clearly pressing on both their minds given the sideways glances that Alex was throwing at Elliot at least once every 30 seconds. Olivia could feel her heart hammering in her chest sure that if Alex didn't stop it Elliot would realise something was up.
Somewhere in the middle of their casual conversation that covered nothing more than the weather and what they had spent the day doing Cragen emerged from his office and dismissed both Elliot and Olivia. After the Captain had finished talking with them Alex and Olivia continued chatting, but much to Olivia's dismay Alex threw one too many glances at Elliot. Before she knew what was going on Elliot was up from his desk and standing right beside them.
'What the f**k is your problem Alex? What bullshit has Liv been feeding you that you feel the need to throw daggers at me every f**k**g time I look up? If you have a problem with me just f**k**g say it!'
Olivia's heart that had previously been beating at a rate of noughts immediately stopped and was in her mouth. How could he think that? How could he think that she would EVER sell him out and 'b****' about him? That wasn't her style and he knew it. If she ever had a problem with him she had always come out and said it, not ran and gossiped to her friends. She realised now that her feelings were not his concern, hell they weren't even on his radar. She'd tried to avoid this harsh realisation for the past month or so, as far as Elliot Stabler was concerned it was obvious…she said it aloud to reassure herself that she was finally right 'It doesn't really matter how I feel inside, this life is like a game sometimes' . That was how he made her feel; she was a toy that he could play with when he wanted to and treat with contempt when life wasn't going as planned.
She grabbed her coat and stormed out of the bullpen and down the stairs, she didn't think about where she was going but her subconscious directed her feet along the sidewalk to the bar that they often frequented after a hard day at work. Yes she was hungover, yes she felt like crap but the pain of her hangover was nothing in comparison to the hurt that he had just caused her. She just wanted the pain to stop and there was only one thing that would help her, her good friend vodka.
As Olivia stormed down the street Alex stood in a state of shock looking at Elliot. Then it hit her, a surging wave of anger.
'You are an !@#$%^ Stabler! Olivia has never said so much as one bad word against you even though you have been nothing but a dick this past month. Not only has she only ever had good things to say about you she has stuck up for you every time someone else mentions the fact that you're an irritable prick! She's the most loyal friend you could hope to have and you've just treated her like crap! For both your sakes go after her and fix it!'
'What the hell Cabot? You have no idea about mine and Liv's relationship. It's nothing to do with you so don't tell me how I should act around her. '
'Oh really' she yelled 'I know more about your so called relationship than you ever will, and if you want to save what you have….what you would be lucky to have with her then I suggest you stop feeling so God damn sorry for yourself and follow her!'
Before Alex had even finished her final words Elliot was already gone, finally he'd seen some sort of sense but as Alex began to feel pleased with herself for helping Olivia the realisation of what she had just said started to sink in. In not so many words she had shared Olivia's feelings for Elliot, sure she hadn't said it outright but it didn't take a genius to work it out. She groaned as she thought of the mess she had just caused, as far as she was aware Elliot was a happily married man and there she was….all but declaring his partners love for him. She needed to talk to Liv but at the moment she didn't have time to worry, she was due in court.
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Post by jenwen on Jul 17, 2010 15:34:21 GMT -5
Ok firstly, all characters belong to Dick Wolf (the blooming genius). The story is based on a song by Avril Lavigne entitled 'Naked' (all rights to their respective owners). I really recommend you YouTube the song before reading the story. The lyrics are so powerful and will hopefully help you develop a vision of where you would like the story to go and what you expect from me. Please read and review!
Chapter 1 The one that's gonna get me, through another day.
The alarm blared all around her apartment. Olivia released an unceremonious groan and opened her eyes. What the hell? Why was she on the sofa? Why was she still in last night's dress? And where the hell was that noise coming from? Olivia managed to pull herself up off the sofa and headed towards her bedroom, she'd finally established that that was where the alarm tone was coming from. Thank God she had set it before she left for a 'quiet' drink with Alex Cabot last night, a bollocking from Cragen for arriving late was the last thing she needed on top of what she assumed would be the worst hangover of her life.
Before she could muster the energy to get showered and dressed for another long day at work with her somewhat 'grumpy' partner she made an attempt to eat some breakfast and replace some of the fluids that last night's debauchery had robbed from her. As she sat at the breakfast bar toying with her cereal she suffered a series of unpleasant and highly embarrassing flashbacks from the evening before. Alex had decided that it would be an excellent idea to do shots, as if this wasn't bad enough she later added in the 'fun' of playing truth or shot. Olivia was halfway to hammered as it was and more shots were just not an option so she stupidly chose truth, she groaned at the thought of the words that had exited her mouth. She vaguely recalled Alex's question being something to do with spending a night with either Elliot or Fin and she had honestly answered Elliot but unfortunately Alex who had been her friend for as long as she could remember was more than capable of reading between the lines.
Olivia put her head in her hands as she remembered where exactly the conversation had gone next. Alex, forever the ADA probed Olivia on the ins and outs of her and Elliot's 'relationship'. In her vodka induced state Olivia had been more than willing to share her admiration for her partner, he was after all one of her best friends, he knew things about her, things about her past that she would never disclose to other people. Alex however was less than complimentary about Elliot; his attitude recently towards Olivia had been one that the other cops and lawyers who worked closely with the pairing had developed an instant dislike to. To say their relationship had become somewhat volatile of late was an understatement; Olivia could barely get a grunt from him when trying to initiate a conversation never mind the abuse she received when they were working a case. She herself knew that his behaviour wasn't what it should be, they had been close for years yet recently he'd been shunning her, closing her out. She knew why and was grateful that in her drunken stupor she hadn't disclosed the reasoning to Alex. Elliot was having a tough time at home, things weren't great with Kathy and last month they had begun divorce proceedings. She was the only one in the unit who knew it though he never told her what exactly the reason behind it was, she could only assume that it was due to the long work hours. Not many women would put up with his dedication to the job, it was almost as if Kathy was his mistress and he was married to the job.
Although she was glad that her loyalty to Elliot had remained throughout her interrogation by Alex she cringed at the fact that she had disclosed her feelings towards her long term partner. Not only had she shared her feelings but she was almost sure (though the memory was somewhat hazy) that she had professed her love for him. As if having a hangover wasn't bad enough she now had to deal with the potential repercussions of her action. Christ! It was the first rule of being a cop; damn it was the first rule of being a woman 'do not fall in love with your partner, particularly when he's married to someone else'. She knew Alex would never tell anyone but Olivia felt ashamed, it was bad enough that she had to deal with these feelings, now knowing that someone else knew that she had always seen Elliot as more than a work colleague, as more than a friend was humiliating.
She sighed and moved towards the bathroom to get a shower before heading to work, hoping that the hot water would cleanse her in some way, that it would take away these feelings that she had held for so long. Emerging from the shower she felt somewhat better but her feelings remained the same, they always would and she knew it. Whilst getting dressed she looked in the mirror for a little longer than usual, taking a little more care in her appearance than normal. She knew why, it was nothing to do with vanity. It was her way of coping, to prepare herself for the day ahead. She did it every day but today it was different because someone else knew, as she applied her makeup she realised that its purpose was not just to make her look that little bit prettier, it was her mask. The mask that she hoped would hide her true feelings from Elliot. She gently talked to herself, prepping herself for the day ahead 'I wake up in the morning, put on my face, the one that's gonna get me through another day'
Chapter 2 in the next post
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Post by jenwen on Jul 16, 2010 18:49:03 GMT -5
My favourite ship...hell it's my only ship <3 I love these two! In the process of finishing my first fanfic! 5 chapters up already, only 1 or 2 more to go! It's not overly long so please take the chance to read and review! If you like it tell me, if you don't then tell me what I can do differently! I want to improve! www.fanfiction.net/s/6141111/1/Naked
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