Steven Hale: Look at the damage a lesbian sister did to Newt!
John Munch: Actually, she was a half-sister.
Steven Hale: But unfortunately for Newt, she was all lesbian.
John Munch: You don't think Newt's problems had anythign to do with his ethics violations or the fact that he was a pedantic megalomaniac who served his cancer-stricken wife with divore papers while she was on her hospital death bed? Did it ever occur to you...
Capt. Donald Cragen: Does anyone know where Cassidy is?
John Munch: There should be a special level of hell for this pus-sucking, gangrenous malignancy of a mental amoeba.
Capt. Donald Cragen: Did somebody steal your parking space again?
Det. John Munch: I just don't feel comfortable when the government starts making lists.
Det. Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola: Please don't get him started. He starts ranting about black helicopters we'll be here for hours.
Fin Tutuola: Here "girl thingy", "girl thingy", "girl thingy"...
John Munch: You're kidding, right?
Fin Tutuola: This is not my area of expertise.
John Munch: Your Jew? Your Jew? How about I call you my BOY?
Fin Tutuola: Then I'd be your boy, John!
Fin is putting eyedrops in his eyes...
John Munch: Can I have some?
Fin Tutuola: No
John Munch: Please?
Fin Tutuola: No, that's how you get pinkeye.
"Garden state" my ass. I guess "chemical capitol of the world" didn't have the same zing.
John Munch: Damn it. I died.
Fin Tutuola: Let me see me this.
John Munch: Sit down...
Guy: That's disgusting.
John Munch: It's a chair.
Fin Tutuola: Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?
John Munch: Yeah, it's reminds me of the Easter egg hunts of my youth.
Fin Tutuola: Your family's Jewish, you guys don't hide eggs.
John Munch: I know, all those mindless hours of searching.
Fin Tutuola: You're a kid: what does that look like to you?
John Munch: A death trap.
Fin Tutuola: You're pathetic; that's the coolest fort ever.
John Munch: You had a dramatic childhood, eh Sherlock?
and my personal fav...
Det. John Munch: Will you ever have dinner with me?
M.E. Elizabeth Rodgers: Not while I can still feed myself.
ouch.