Post by arandomtuesday on Dec 16, 2005 22:19:05 GMT -5
We did a mock trial once in lit last year. I was a lawyer, and I won ;D I was pretty overjoyed. It's pretty obvious I watch too much SVU. I would sit there and totally drill the witnesses all Alex-like. It was like every other time I said something the people in the background watching were like "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" It was hard for me not to laugh.
The cross examination of one witness, for example(this is the only one I exactly remember):
"Mr. Rowe, you said 'The wear has made it become ugly,' am I correct?"
"Yes."
"Wouldn't that make it your opinion and your opinion alone?"
"Well I'm sure many other people agree with me because--"
"But that would only provide more opinions, while in this situation, only facts are useful?"
"Well, I think--"
(A few 'Ohhhhhhh's in the background)
"You seem so eager to provide opinions Mr. Rowe. Tell me: Why is it 'ugly?'"
"Well, the color is fading and it doesn't look good and--"
"Good? As in, another opinion word?"
(More 'Ohhhhhhhh's)
(Silence from the witness)
"Mr. Rowe, is there anything factual you can offer the jury?"
"I can factually tell you several people are dissatisfied with the state of the restaurant and that--"
"Oh so now you're backing up you biased facts with more opinions?"
"Not exactly..."
"Answer the question."
"Well, yes, but--"
"All you can offer is opinions?"
(More witness silence)
"Well Mr. Rowe, it appears I've shattered your credibilty as a 'factual witness.'"
Other lawyer: "Objection!"
"Nothing further."
(Completely unanimous OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHs from about 20 people)
That was the best time I've ever had in that class.
The cross examination of one witness, for example(this is the only one I exactly remember):
"Mr. Rowe, you said 'The wear has made it become ugly,' am I correct?"
"Yes."
"Wouldn't that make it your opinion and your opinion alone?"
"Well I'm sure many other people agree with me because--"
"But that would only provide more opinions, while in this situation, only facts are useful?"
"Well, I think--"
(A few 'Ohhhhhhh's in the background)
"You seem so eager to provide opinions Mr. Rowe. Tell me: Why is it 'ugly?'"
"Well, the color is fading and it doesn't look good and--"
"Good? As in, another opinion word?"
(More 'Ohhhhhhhh's)
(Silence from the witness)
"Mr. Rowe, is there anything factual you can offer the jury?"
"I can factually tell you several people are dissatisfied with the state of the restaurant and that--"
"Oh so now you're backing up you biased facts with more opinions?"
"Not exactly..."
"Answer the question."
"Well, yes, but--"
"All you can offer is opinions?"
(More witness silence)
"Well Mr. Rowe, it appears I've shattered your credibilty as a 'factual witness.'"
Other lawyer: "Objection!"
"Nothing further."
(Completely unanimous OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHs from about 20 people)
That was the best time I've ever had in that class.