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Post by benstabler on Jul 30, 2008 22:07:06 GMT -5
I am trying. She had no dinner tonight which makes me sad but I told her I would smoke 2 less later tonight in hopes she will have more tomorrow as today was only juice and a muffin
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Post by Sexystablersgal on Aug 11, 2008 11:14:24 GMT -5
My turn to apoligise now! Sorry I didn't see this earlier!
I think what you're doing for her is amazing. It must really be helping having someone that she can be in constant contact, and she obviously trusts you enough to tell you things like how she felt she sucked at everything. Well done for being such a good friend to her, theres not a lot of people who would agree to give up something to help someone.
And she has definetly had a lot to deal with since this started. Reading your posts I wanted to reach out and hug her! Poor girl, I really hopes she manages to get through this, because she sounds, from the things you've said, like a wonderful person. In the meantime, she's taking small steps which is definetly gonna help. At least you know that she is eating now, even if it is small things.
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Post by benstabler on Aug 12, 2008 2:40:37 GMT -5
Ha, we all get busy!
She's doing OK...ups and downs but to be expected. She did throw up once and not tell me. I told her to please tell me and I won't be upset I just want to know she did and why. Today she ate earlier but threw up dinner, something about fighting with her brother and some other things but I am glad she told me. I slipped and smoked a lot one day and I think she was mad but I said "you're my friend and I think we should be honest" letting her know it's OK not be perfect and that we're still good people because of it. She's been saying things are bad at home (is for most teens right?) and she doesn't care anymore and nothing she can do about it and I told her she might care when she grows older and then we are in control of our own fate but until then she has me! That seemed to make her smile.
*I should say we talk mostly on text message*
And small steps are important, she had went 13 days without throwing up which is a record for her! ;D
A cute side note. We went to see her dads band play a while back and my ponytail holder fell out so she gave me hers then after the show she found mine and took it. I saw her Friday and she had my ponytail holder around her wrist...lol
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Post by Finaddict on Aug 12, 2008 5:54:42 GMT -5
You are doing an awesome job of helping this girl. This is an up and down disorder and I am glad she has gone 13 days.
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Post by benstabler on Aug 13, 2008 3:54:41 GMT -5
yes, it's not an easy thing to get over and I'd like to know I have helped some because mom and dad were at wits end and we never listen to mom and dad anyways right? lol
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Post by Finaddict on Aug 13, 2008 5:27:35 GMT -5
I know I was guilty of not listening lots of times.
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Post by benstabler on Aug 14, 2008 3:51:39 GMT -5
;D I still am!
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pleadthefifth
Officer
Sig credit belongs to MissingAlex, Dashboard Confessional, and AO-y goodness =D
Posts: 155
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Post by pleadthefifth on Aug 28, 2008 20:16:42 GMT -5
I know that professional help is always the right route to go, but I went through this, and I think that the decision is mostly hers. At least, that's how it was for me. My parents tried to get me help via a shrink, and all I kept thinking was that the man was a prick and I didn't want to be there. I had to decide for myself that I needed to start eating more regularly. My advice to you is to definitely continue to be there for her, and let her know that if she needs someone to talk to, that you'll always be an open ear. That's mostly what got me through it, being able to talk to someone I really trusted and knowing that they weren't going to judge me for it. This issue is very serious, and there are no methods that are set in stone to help. A lot of people get uncomfortable talking about such a thing, which isn't going to help a damn thing. Continue to treat her normally, and don't let this problem get in the way of being supportive of her and letting her lean on you if she needs it.
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Post by benstabler on Aug 29, 2008 2:49:55 GMT -5
Thanks! I agree with the treating normally. I am trying not to bring it up in every conversation but I do like to know how she is doing. But of course can't be the ONLY thing we discuss, then I am nothing more than the therapy she hates right? I made sure to tell her I won't be mad or judge but as a friend I would like to know how she is doing.
I appreciate all the input here, this is one thing I never had to help someone though and I was hoping I was making the right decisions on what I did to help.
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pleadthefifth
Officer
Sig credit belongs to MissingAlex, Dashboard Confessional, and AO-y goodness =D
Posts: 155
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Post by pleadthefifth on Aug 29, 2008 3:03:24 GMT -5
Like I said before, there are no black and white methods for helping someone through this. Don't try and show her all the ways that what she's doing is wrong, but encourage her to keep going when she's headed the right way.
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Post by benstabler on Aug 31, 2008 2:39:39 GMT -5
Thanks again, she seems to be a little happier this past week....I think maybe all the excitement of school shopping and all and I think she is more excited to go back to school than she wants to admit.
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Post by Sexystablersgal on Sept 3, 2008 14:47:16 GMT -5
I'm so glad she's doing better! And keep up the good work hun'! To both of ya!
And I agree with what pleadthefith said, there isn't ever a black and white answer (because life likes to be 'interesting', eh?!) purely because each and every person is different. For example, I found myself getting better when I finally talk to my mum, and we agreed to talk about it when I felt stressed, rather than her checking ever bite I took. And then when I felt like I was going to start again, I again felt better talking to my mum, but also my college councellor. You just gotta be a friend, first and formost, and inch around the rest, finding a way (which you seem to have done) that works for you two.
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Post by benstabler on Sept 3, 2008 19:04:29 GMT -5
Thanks again for all the advice. I'd like to think I am helping!
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