Here comes the last chapter people
An epilogue will follow probably during this week-end, thank you again for reading and the great feedback!
Enjoy
Chapter SevenWow I think he’s flirting again, time to do something about it Novak “Look Elliot, can I be honest here” she didn’t know what was coming upon her but it was time to set things straight.
“Of course” reassured Olivia.
“I had the impression tonight that you were…how to say that…kind of… flirting with me” she frowned a little hoping that her abundance of honesty wouldn’t ruin any friendship they had been developing lately “and even though I must admit that you’re quite charming, I’m not…interested. Plus you’re married!” she stated in a hurry as an after thought. ‘Elliot’ seemed petrified and 'his' wide eyes were a perfect match for his dropping jaw.
God I knew it! I went to far…I totally broke him she established with dread.
The detective stayed transfixed with her mouth opening and closing in a motion similar to one of a golden fish. No words found their way up her throat.
Oh. My. God. Am I this obvious? That’s terrible, that’s a catastrophe!!! This is not only a disaster for Elliot…he sure is going to kill me…but that means she can read through me like through a book!! So she must have realized I was totally checking her out and flirting with her all those months!! I’m doomed; it’s just the end of the world!! Olivia was feeling like a puddle of water right now…how was she going to get herself and Elliot out of this!!
Casey must think that I’m pathetic, lusting after someone I could never have!! So lost in her self loathing Olivia stayed oblivious to Casey’s calls.
“Elliot! Elliot? Are you ok? I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to shock you, would you forgive me?” she didn’t know what to do; he was apparently in shock! What had she done?
I’m sure I read too much into it, maybe he was just trying to be friendly…you never know with men!She wasn’t very much convinced by this deduction but in a way she’d rather believe this, it was easier to handle than the other possibility.
Trying again to get ‘his’ attention she spoke a little louder drawing some curious and annoyed looks to their table.
What are you looking at? She thought glaring at one particularly indignant customer…
this is none of your business, go on eating your spaghettis like a pig you moron! She was upset by this lack of privacy they were suddenly undergoing.
“I’m sorry” a strangled voice brought her back to the matter at hand.
“What?” asked the surprised attorney; she wasn’t sure that ‘he’ had actually said something for it had sounded more like a sigh.
Slowly finding back her bearings Olivia repeated “I’m sorry Casey” she clarified “I’m sorry if I gave you this impression”
ok so here goes nothing Benson “I never meant to flirt with you”
Yeah right! “I’ve been a little confused since a couple of weeks; Gillian’s case has been tough on all of us and then Kathy and I had this stupid fight. In a way I must admit that I’m feeling a little vulnerable right now”
the sensitive guy card! Right like she’s gonna believe this from Elliot she smirked inwardly
you’re so mean Benson! “And today was stressing; I think three nights in a row at the crib has done nothing to improve my mood. So when I saw you tonight I felt…relieved…I didn’t feel like having another dinner alone”
When I saw you I felt ecstatic, if only you could be mine, I would never spend another day alone! “I think I might have been slightly carried away in the expression of my feelings. I see you as a friend Casey, and even though we haven’t spend a lot of time together out of work, it’s always a pleasure to be in your company”
I’m totally and utterly head over hills in love with you…just for information! She concluded smiling as innocently as possible.
There was a flush in her cheeks when she finally found the words to answer “Oh Elliot I’m so sorry, it was so rude of me to tell you this. It never occurred to me how affected you could be, I’m such an insensitive girl” she had read everything wrong, poor Elliot was going through a tough phase and he was simply looking for a friend
and what did you do, you pushed him away and insulted him at the same time…really great job Novak! Of course there was the little ‘blouse ogling’ incident from this afternoon, but let’s face it, men weren’t blind, and after all why should she be so surprised? She indeed wore that blouse to be noticed! But not by him,
no not by him she sighed.
“Casey please don’t say that, you are anything but an insensitive woman!” well she’d been very convincing, a little too much apparently because now Casey was feeling guilty…
and for no reason with that! “I have not been myself lately and it’s my entire fault here, I didn’t realize how out of character I acted tonight” she joked to release some of the tension.
Chuckling at ‘his’ last comment, Casey looked at her hands, noticing for the first time the remnants of her napkin viciously shredded in dozens of crumpled pellets. She smirked at the evident consequence of their stressing conversation.
Following her gaze, Olivia smiled softly “I’m famous for getting on women’s nerves but I think I scored pretty high here!”
Looking up at the detective she laughed at ‘his’ obvious attempt to lighten up the mood. “Well you sure know how to make them forgive you afterwards” she winked at ‘him’ with good humor.
“Does that mean I’m forgiven?” Olivia asked with a mock pout.
“You are, Detective, you are” Casey reassured, amused by ‘his’ silly antics.
“Good cause I know someone who would have held a grudge against me otherwise!”
“Who?” The redhead asked innocently.
God Benson, you should consider stopping wearing those shoes and socks all together cause you seem to be fairly inclined to put your feet in your mouth! She had thought about Elliot at the time but obviously she couldn’t mention him. Feeling the seconds passing by quickly she blurted out “Olivia”.
Now great! This doesn’t make it all better, it’s even worse…I should have said ‘Kathy’, gosh I’m so stupid! She was berating herself for this uninspired reaction because she knew what was coming.
“Oh!” she seemed more than surprised, she had been expecting to hear Elliot’s wife name. So the only logical question coming to her mind was “Why?”
You so knew it Benson her groan never left her mind but she was furious at herself.
So what to say now? Brilliant Olivia, really brilliant!! “Well…uh”
find something for God sake she felt a moment of panic as Casey looked at her with expectation.
You can definitely not tell her that you feel protective of her! This is not even an option! “You know her” she said laughing nervously “she’s all for good relations at the working place, she wouldn’t like me to make you feel uncomfortable around us.” The attorney nod was imperceptible, a small frown visible on her pensive face as she seemed to be weighting up the pros and cons. She didn’t appear totally convinced but took the decision to let it slide
for now! Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, “and of course Kathy would have been mad at me as well” the detective added, wishing to wash all her suspicions away.
“Well I can imagine but she should not be worried about me anyway”
why did you say that? Maybe because I think I need a confident on the inside. He could give me some advices and somehow I feel like I can trust him. He might not understand but I don’t think he would betray me. Olivia was the one to be intrigued now, what had Casey meant by this. Surely she had meant that she was not interested in Elliot but something else was there, she felt another admission hanging in the air.
“What do you mean?” she prodded her interest picked.
“I mean that…”
it’s not the moment to lose your nerves Novak; you’re a prosecutor or a wimp? Go for it now! “Well she shouldn’t be worried about me because…you’re not the detective I’m interested in”
see wasn’t that hard! She was shaking slightly and waited for ‘his’ next question using the time to regroup.
“Oh! Really?” she was shocked to say the least. She never would have guessed that Casey was interested in one of her colleagues. The wheels in her head were turning at maximum speed. She had a hard time imagining Casey with Munch because of their age difference.
I’m ten years older than her and some might say it’s already a lot but he could be her father! It had to be Fin! He was handsome and not much older than Olivia herself; he had the cool guy attitude and a great sense of humor.
You surely need to have some with Munch as a partner! She smirked inwardly. The smirk was short lived as the realization downed on her.
This is hell on earth! I not only have to hide my feelings for her but she’s interested in one of my friends! She was devastated but did her best to smile at the nervous redhead. “Who’s the lucky guy?” she wondered feigning enthusiasm.
“Well the thing is Elliot…it’s not a lucky guy” she looked at him intently hoping he would get the hint.
“Come on Casey, don’t sell yourself short, he is indeed lucky” she grinned at what she thought was the attorney’s attempt at modesty.
Ok he didn’t get the hint she concluded disappointed “No that’s not what I meant Elliot” Olivia frowned at her declaration “what I meant is that…the detective is not… a guy” she lowered her eyes to stare at the ‘dismembered’ napkin.
“Uh?”
what does she mean with ‘the detective is not a guy’…“Oh!” she finally understood
talk about clueless…but that means…no it can’t be…but I’m the only female detective in the unit…Oh. My. God. She actually is interested in ME!!!! “Ohhh!”
“Well yes”
please let him be ok with this, I know it won’t change anything about the fact that Olivia and I will never be together but I would feel better knowing that Elliot was ok with my feeling towards his partner!“You mean, you mean that you” she pointed at the redhead “are interested in…”
me “Olivia” it sounded more like a question than an affirmation.
“Yes” she crossed her fingers hoping he would not react badly at the news.
“Wow” she was on cloud number nine, she had been wrong all the way about Casey’s sexuality “that’s something big Counselor” she stated bemused.
“I know Elliot, I hope you’re not too shocked” she inquired with some apprehension.
“No, no I’m not…just surprised…I always thought that you were straight” she admitted without malice.
“Well misconceptions are commonplace” she said breathing a sigh of relief at his acceptation.
“You’re right about that Counselor”
so Casey had feelings for me all this time, why didn’t she say anything “why didn’t you tell m…Olivia about your feelings?”
“What tells you I didn’t?” she challenged with an enigmatic smile.
Olivia raised an eyebrow in defiance.
“Ok, ok I didn’t say anything” Casey answered deflated.
“Why?” there was no accusation, just genuine concern.
“The fear of rejection I suppose” she shrugged.
“Well I have a feeling that this might not be such a problem” she gazed at the fiery attorney with a mysterious lopsided grin firmly planted on her face. She saw the mixture of wonder and hope in the other woman’s eyes and was about to finish her statement when a deep voice interrupted her confession.
“Do you wish anything else” inquired the waiter politely “we are about to close but I can still take one last order”
“Oh, uh! Do you want something Elliot?” Olivia shook her head no “no thank you, could you bring us the bill please”
“Off course miss” he agreed before retreating to the bar.
“Well time flies” Olivia was fidgeting, she wanted to tell so many things to Casey but she knew that right now was not the time, not when she still looked like Elliot.
“Yes it does” confirmed an equally anxious Casey.
d*** waiter, he’s got the worse timing ever, I wonder what Elliot was about to say…could it be that Olivia is sharing my feelings…no it couldn’t be…maybe he meant that she would still be my friend, even knowing everything.She wanted to stay, to escort Casey to her apartment and to declare her undying love for the young attorney, but she knew she had to go. Tomorrow would come soon enough and she could finally be herself again. So that was what this spell was all about. Adam and Eve had been real, they had been right. She had learned something important today; she had learned not to judge too quickly and to believe in herself and others. She had lost precious months wallowing on her fate instead of opening her eyes. Casey had been interested in her just as much as she had been in her, but her fears and doubts had prevented her from seeing the truth.
She would do anything to finally prove her love to the redhead and she would start tomorrow.
They shared the bill and hugged good night, exchanging words of thanks and comfort before parting in opposite direction.
Tomorrow my love, tomorrow I’ll give you my heart!To Be Continued....with the Epilogue